Beer Notes

2006-06-19T06:55:00.000-07:00

Beer Notes

Poetry scribbled
on bar napkins,
should be left
there.

It somehow
loses its tone
typed out
neat and
pretentious.

No longer
smeared with beer
and ashes;
it somehow
loses sight
of its origin,
the simplest
naked moment,
the purpose behind
its circumstance;

a truly honest
(drunken)
slur.

adieu..........

2006-02-25T10:40:00.000-08:00

It is with a fond farewell i put this blog to rest……. it has accomplished its original intent……. i wanted simply to learn what web logging was all about…… my young girls were so into it that i needed to see the how’s and why’s….. and i understand the sharing now and the fact that it is exponential in form…. it’s been a fun trip and I will visit my new friends on a semi-regular basis… thank you all for participating in my strange little world…… i will leave you with a simple poem....................................................

Laurels

He's lost the passion
in his poems
there was the time
words
would spew out
hotter 'an any jalapeño
would flow
as imperfect
as any mountain brook
tumble
and roll

I used to pan for gold
in that brook
find my next beer
in its precious dust
spit the pepper seeds
between my teeth

You just ain't got it
any more
i say

you know...

the passion

as he frowns back at me
through the bathroom mirror

Tomas

holiday spirit?

2005-12-29T15:53:00.000-08:00

dang..... 2 posts in one day...... 'sup w/that ?

2005-12-18T10:04:00.000-08:00

there's this guy

in our neighborhood

from down the hill

who walks his dog

from his car

we live on a dead-end street

and every now and then

while i sit outside

smoking a ciggie

he'll drive by

at like 5 mph

dog trotting along the street

talking on his cell

dog
lifting his leg

now and again

this dog is as grey in the chops

as this guy in the car

and

yeah

well

maybe it is a little chilly outside

this time of year

yet even with the odds at

7 to 1

i'm betting on the dog

Tomas

Hypocrite

2005-12-18T08:40:00.000-08:00

Ultimatum

I gave my wife
an ultimatum
the other nite

it was stupid
built exponentially
frustration to the nth power

thing is
i HATE
ultimatums

tell me

this…

or…

and I’ll choose

or…

every time

if nothing else
outa’ spite

i gave my wife
an ultimatum
the other nite
doesn’t matter what it was
nothing (ultimately) matters

i was happy when she accepted my apology
and so very proud of her
when she chose

or…

Tomas

Perceptions

2005-12-04T08:45:00.000-08:00

in Looking out

to touch
is to
perceive
as bubbles fighting
to reach the surface
descending panic
in ascending motion
whole
and spherical
and silent
rushed to break
the water's edge
and vanish!

Tomas

Annual Thanksgiving Day poem

2005-11-23T12:01:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. I truly reflect on all I have to be thankful for. (well there is the food and the beer as well !!)

Thanks Given

i am thankful for my new home
safe and warm and cozy

thank you Karla
for opening your mind and letting your perfect spiritual self inside
and for declaring our love by marriage
i love you
i adore you

thank you Emma Claire
for the artistic and creative spirit you bring into my life
and reminding me that age is not a definition

thank you hannaH
for sharing secrets with me... trusting your 'step-dad'
and for every single hug you have given me (physical or otherwise)

thank you mom
for molding me in such a wild and good natured and wondrous manner
you ARE the best

thank you to my siblings for all your love and...

Anna.... for being the pillar of reality in a not so reality based family
(i'm still jealous of your latest Harley)

Tim... for taking over as head of the Thomas household when David passed on

John... for reminding me that life isn't so serious that a good buzz will slow you down

Lynda... thank you for all the love you give to all creatures on this earth
and especially those of us who walk erect...
may your upcoming marriage be blessed

thank you Michelle
for my grandnephew and..... well, for just being you

thanx Jen
for always staying in my heart and letting me hide out in yours

thank you JD
for trusting me enough to rush to your house ( pistola in hand) on a single phone call... no explanation required !!
and for the understanding i have that you would do the same for me.......

thank you Claibe...
my constant friend, in a world full of variables

thank you Nessa
for always sharing yourself with me

for Catherine (my Alabama mom) and Billy....
thank you for accepting me into this family with open arms....
i not only give you my love, i give you my respect

thank you Reckless (good ol' hound)
who showed me many paths
i rejoice you have moved on
i may catch up some day

and to Molly
for always being on guard and ever alert

thanks to all my friends left behind...... Denver, Panama City....
you were never really left behind
to you and all my online friends
distance these days is only a state of mind
and love is unique unto us all

i count my blessings this Thanksgiving Day
one
by
one
by
one thousand plus

and i cannot help but smile

thanks given
to all of you.............

Tomas

on the lighter side from my last post.... back to my bar series poetry

2005-11-12T19:56:00.000-08:00

Wheel Of Fortune Set In Tune To C&W Blasting On The Juke Box

quiet nite

at the Brewery Bar

hank williams

stands alone above the chatter

and vanna,

sweet vanna,

she glides across the screen

flipping letters on the board

like webster's daughter

on the prowl

Tomas

if Rwanda only had oil.....

2005-11-06T21:20:00.000-08:00

Commentary
Search for Perpetrators of the Rwandan Genocide
by Leroy Sievers
Morning Edition, November 4, 2005 · Commentator Leroy Sievers covered the Rwandan genocide and its aftermath for ABC's Nightline. Recently he travelled to Congo to look for the perpetrators, this time working for the International Crisis Group, an anti-conflict organization. He says there can never be closure after the horror of the slayings.

i heard this story on NPR last friday morning and i sat with tears running down my cheeks before i was out the door to work....... one of the accounts was of this journalist's interpreter in the Congo... he is Congonese, but was married to a Tutsi woman..... he bribed the Hutu guerillas to shoot his wife in the head in front of him, rather than for them to hack her to death with machetes....... he gave them money to shoot her to save her the suffering they were planning on inflicting..... i mean fuck !!!!! could you imagine this?

this report deeply unsettled something inside me..... i hope this post relieves some of what i feel still now...... i'm on no soap box here..... this one just tore me up and i had to post..... please listen to this report..... it's only a few minutes long..... and tell me that there is justice and love and warmth and people who care in this world

and also.......

be happy where you are
right now.....
this moment......
and cling tight to the ones you love

Tomas

All Hallows' Eve.......

2005-10-31T17:52:00.000-08:00

photo by emma claire.

Re-evaluation

Canteloupe eyes
a vegetarian meal
for those who seek
my soul

Equestrian gait
the flies
left in the meadow
not really running away
more like running towards
the center
of unreality

The noblest quest
is walking the edge
is finding that center
then looking out
and realizing
what it took
to get there

Tomas

ok...... i'm back.... we are in our new home... working our butts off...

2005-10-19T14:44:00.000-07:00

and so here we are..... and i am happy...... new home.... new life....
well there is the stress of
not having all our stuff up here yet
not selling Karla's house in Southern Alabama yet (which would put us over the top)
working a job that requires me to drive all over a big (enough) city that i don't know

and still i wake up every morning with a smile on my face..... content with new directions...... satisified with choices..... happy to be me

i pulled this poem from my archives.... not sure why, but it does seem to remind me that the bullshit is all just that......

Alive

i broke something
in my body today
deep inside
i don't know what
i'm not even sure
what makes me think this
other than the sensation of a quick
hard
thud

ultimately i am sure
due to the alcohol
and the smoke
and the neglect
something snapped

but i remind myself
that i treat my truck
with the same abandon
i tend to drive it
into the ground
yet it always gets me
where i'm going
even if i have to
pop the hood
now and then
and fuck with
this
or
that

someone might say
"this is really a matter
of priorities"
but i would say
it's all a matter
of pushing limits
of walking the edge
of saluting the stars
it's a matter of
living
vs.
existence

like winning the lotto
a cool 2 mil
then blowing the wad
in one night
waking up the next morning
hung over
broke
somewhere in Rio
with a big-ass smile
on my face

alive

Tomas

This blog will be down for a few weeks.......... It's adventure time !!!!

2005-09-24T13:39:00.000-07:00

thanx to my friends, who visit on occasion.... i am shutting down for a couple of weeks while i metamorphose into an entirely new world of existence..... this is my farewell to Panama City, FL..... i am moving to Birmingham, AL to be with my wife and new family there.... in brief explanation, our oldest daughter got accepted to ASFA (alabama school of fine arts) which is rated like the 4th best high school in the nation.... virtually guaranteeing a college scholarship and located in Bham, AL..... there are all the pros and cons in my head about the move.... i quit my job already @ FSU in Panama City...... the 3 biggest pros are i will be actually living w/my wife and family for the first time (there's a 4th 'pro' included in the middle of that statement.... but i won't touch on that right now {eg})....... we are a stone's throw from the Appalachian mountains (i haven't been camping in over 8 years..... my favorite recreation when i lived in Colorado).... and NO FUCKING HURRICANES !!!!!

Farewell Panama City, Florida

Who or What I Am

you capture a moment
without slicing
or dicing
you smile
carry it in a backpack
wave goodbye over your shoulder

you refuse to

add up the
seconds
minutes
hours
days
years

you, uh

just leave

eyes forward

... and suddenly
you're in
a new
and wonderful
place

damn i love my life

and who or what i am

Tomas

for those you love, please make out a living will... in honor of Terri Schiavo and my brother, David Thomas

2005-09-19T20:38:00.000-07:00

With No Explanation... 8-22-96

I.

"Raise your foot David"
somebody says
eventually his foot raises
I could tell my dog
"scratch Reckless"
eventually
he will scratch

It is the faith
the false hope
the not wanting to let go
(or admit)
that
masques
their rational thought
that masques
the promise
that tears this family apart

II.

He walks up to his brother
propped up
in a wheelchair
mouth open
tongue flicking
without intent
the blank stare beyond us all
for one brief second
he flashes
on a time
before the accident

It seems
at least right now
it was a perfect time

before the blank stare
before the drool
out the side of his mouth
as incomprehensible
as it may seem
he reads the lips
the silent babble
hears the words
from a far distance

get me out of here

He draws a loaded
38
from under his shirt
without hesitation
aims
pulls the trigger
silence
(other than the ringing
in his ears)
silence and then
some weird sensation touches his brow
a kiss

before he is wrestled to the ground by the orderly
before the cops
an' the courts
an' the rest of the family
an' the whole damn world
condemn him

a sacrifice
not for himself
not for the selfish
or the survivors
or the betterment of all

but for the moment
for the betterment
of one
the one
who's gaze
has pleaded these silent whispers

help me
get out of

this

for who's past should not be
desecrated
because of faith and concerns and even love

Specified
long before this ever
happened

I told you all

I do not want

this

All of them listened
am I the only one
who heard ?

Tomas

for Kuroaki....

2005-09-12T10:29:00.000-07:00

Cockroach Revenge

Monday nite
i glance around the apartment
the computer sits alone
i sit alone
the plants
well they all commune
they all get watered every week-end
at the same time
B B King leans against the wall
black and white
and smilin’ that wonderful smile
he has
tellin’ me
that the blues
ain’t about bein’
blue
they’re ‘bout
lettin’ go

No sign of cockroaches
i can’t believe
i finally squashed
every
single
one
under my fist
brown stains on white walls

Perhaps the cockroach word
is out
stay away
from that crazy
mother fucker

I turn off the fan
listen for little cockroach
footsteps
under the futon
or behind the bookcase

Nothing

“I know you are there !”
i shout
“just stay outa my sight
and maybe we can get along”

Not sure why i hate the damn things
so much
i mean
they’ve been around a lot longer
than us
they figured out how to survive
by scurrying
and hiding
in dark places
by bothering no one
if not by accident
tickling across my hand
draped to the floor
awaking me
from a
not so perfect dream
and making me
sit up quickly
pulse racing
flicking my hand
trying to gather my senses
unsure of where i am
for a moment
or where i have just been

Tomas

in remembrance

2005-09-11T18:51:00.000-07:00

poetry by my loving wife, Karla Sasser.........

8:48 am, EST, Tuesday, September 11, 2001

this morning,
the one of blue fall skies
clear white clouds
crisp morning breath,
this morning
painted with hope,
potential,
expectation,
this morning
she stood tall.
pressed her silver dress
with narrow hands,
fingers like thin steel.
a day's work.
life in her belly,
head in the clouds.
tall and swatting
the foreign fly in her soup.
denying his existence.
hands on her hips,
cocked to the side
at his audacity.
a turn to her sister,
the twin, sipping her coffee,
shuffling papers and plans,
unaware of the intrusion
or approaching knife.
life and potential
spilling on the street.
last sibling gasps
rising in black smoke
to this morning,
this morning
of fallen blue skies
and war.

kfs, 9/12/01, 11:21pm

Katrina... one more casualty, one more great loss...

2005-09-11T06:45:00.000-07:00

Clarence "Gatemouth" Brown died Saturday..... battling lung cancer and heart disease @ 81 years old, he evacuated from his home in New Orleans to his brother's home in Orange, TX... his home in NO destroyed, both his brother and his agent said in different words (in reference to his love for New Orleans).... 'he most likely truly died of a broken heart'.....

Louisiana-born, Texas-raised multi-instrumentalist Clarence "Gatemouth" Brown has been dishing up his unique blend of blues, R&B, country, jazz, and Cajun music for more than 50 years. A virtuoso on guitar, violin, harmonica, mandolin, viola, and even drums, Gatemouth has influenced performers as diverse as Albert Collins, Frank Zappa, Lonnie Brooks, Eric Clapton, Roy Clark, Bonnie Raitt, Ry Cooder, the Rolling Stones, Joe Louis Walker and many more than i can even imagine here to mention.

Thank you Gatemouth.... i gotta feelin' god is boogying down as i speak.............................

... those were the days

2005-09-06T09:59:00.000-07:00

(me and Greyhawk, back alley behind Muddy's Java Cafe circa: Denver,CO 198s0mething)

The Oases Of Life

Memories
(no,
moments)
music
camping
Hieneken!
sleep?
Monday Night Football at jd's?
a hot bath on a cold winter night
Monty Python
fresh hot unsliced apple pie
good wine
good cheap wine
friendship
a good poem
a good lover
Carlos Castaneda
Carlos Santana
smokin'?
tinies at the Brewery Bar II
'shroomin'
Blues Brothers the movie
pepperoni/mushroom pizza
(with tabasco sauce)
ZZ TOP/La Grange
a dog asleep at your feet
Charles Bukowski
air guitar
a dog asleep at Bukowski's feet
Ah yes, Muddy's Java Cafe

Oasis,
relief
in our desert
existences

Tomas

ok..... enough depression, politics and empathy for the moment.... back to poetry

2005-09-03T12:10:00.000-07:00

Shifting the Paradigm

Attending my friends' wedding
a lesbian wedding

i was asked

do you wish to sit
on the bride's side

or on the bride's side

oooh
one of those capsulated
little zen moments

Tomas

apology...

2005-09-02T13:52:00.000-07:00

apparently i spoke too soon..... in reference to my last post i heard today that dozens of countries have offered aid to the U.S. in wake of Katrina and that number is growing..... Germany was the first, Russia, Canada, France, Honduras... offers of medical teams, electrical experts, specialized equipment.... Venezuela offered $1 million dollars out of the gov't owned oil industry there (Chavez called Bush king of vacations... i LOVE it !)

dubya commented to nbc news a day or 2 ago "i'm not expecting much from foreign nations, 'cause we didn't ask..." " this country's gonna rise up and take care of it"

arrogant fuck !!!!

as the state department considers the offers (considers the offers?).... i humbly apologize for my presumption... and am reminded that good resides in the midst of evil..... seems the problem isn't with the offers, it is with this administration's unwillingness to admit we need help...

Tomas

Question ...

2005-08-30T19:41:00.000-07:00

I wonder how many of our "friends" in other countries will send relief, equipment, medical supplies, doctors, nurses, building materials, food, water, money to the good people in Mississippi, Louisiana, Alabama... (?) oh yeah, forgot it is better for u.s. to give than to receive....

Katrina... one badass bitch, one evil eye

2005-08-28T04:54:00.000-07:00

barreling down on New Orleans....... cat5..... currently 160 mph sustained winds and still growing.... please say a prayer to whatever god you pray to for the folks there.......

dubya declares emergency.... think he'll reconsider joining the Kyoto Club?..... nah

Earlie's Leg

2005-08-27T20:43:00.000-07:00

(please click on pic for full effect)

Fear

I'm not afraid
of dying.
I am afraid
of dying,
without living
first.

Tomas

... the pain never really goes away, you just learn to live with it

2005-08-22T06:49:00.000-07:00

(click on pic to see detail)

The Letter

Dearest Tomas

Sorry i haven't
Written in so long but we've been
Pretty busy
Out here
The neighbors
Just bought an amphibious
Landing craft at a gov't auction and
We've been enlarging their pool
On top of that
Mom fell down again
Broke both arms
And her right eye
She's still hitting the booze
So with both arms in a cast
We had to rig an iv

Did i tell you herb the postman
Got a serious rash
That isn't so bad
'Til i tell you where it was
I think it was in tj

How's the sun tea business
Mom keeps saying
She doesn't think
You're going to do shit
But i tell her
It can't miss
With the low overhead

Gotta cut this short
The doberman next door
Just pissed on my tires
Again i'm going to kill
That fucking dog

Take care for now
Please write
If you find out
Who
You are

Your ex-son

S.

from the Advertiser,,, (formerly Thrifty Nickel)...

2005-08-22T06:21:00.000-07:00

i was thinking of responding to this ad..... but not enough information.... like paid how much?

...fear and loathing

2005-08-18T18:55:00.000-07:00

This coming Saturday... Hunter S. Thompson's ashes will be shot from a cannon inside a 150-foot-tall monument over his Woody Creek Canyon home, Owl Farm, near Aspen Colorado........

now THAT'S poetry.......

... and today is a good day to die (my friend Gregory Greyhawk)

2005-08-14T15:51:00.000-07:00

i used to dance
by myself
around the living room
a lot (!)

it gives me strength
to fight the daily
bullshit

it grants me power

friend of mine just
burned me a copy
of 'Blondie's Greatest Hits'

downed some beers
a shot or 2 of jager
put on my new birthday hat
and tore up the damn carpet (!)

and now
i can't seem to get
this smile
off my face

Tomas

song for Tomas..... circa: 1997

2005-08-14T09:19:00.000-07:00

~if only i

would you love me more
if you woke
to find me
cloaked in mountain clouds,
bathed and pure
in melting snows?
could you dream of me
in deeper sleep
if eyes were closed
with passionate fingers,
wet with ocean foam
and salty tongues?
would you find
yourself intoxicated
by nectar petals,
opened and alluring
on the pathway to Eden?
could you resist
the song my siren sings
if my message
were whispered
on summer's breeze?
could you love
me more if
i were simply
these things
and you were
loved the same?
do you love me
same, as i am none,
and only i remain?

kfs

... one of those poems that wrote itself (ok.... so there may have been a beer or 2 contributing)

2005-08-11T14:51:00.000-07:00

Polite Discourse

Sunday a.m.

wind cranks up hard

shakes

my abode

the cows are all

standing

tails to the west

wind blowing

up their assholes

mooooooooooo's coming out

the other end

Tomas

song for Karla..... circa: 1997

2005-08-08T11:05:00.000-07:00

(if your love were a mountain stream)

A Quiet Day, Thinking of You

If your love
were a cloud
i would bathe naked
in its gentle rain
and clap my hands
to its thunder

If your love
were a mountain stream
i would sit on its bank
to cool my feet
and listen to
its soothing whispers

If your love
were
an ocean
i would surf its strongest wave
taste the salt
of its passion

If your love
were a flower
i would every day
bend
to kiss
each petal

If your love
were
the softest breeze
bringing me the scent
of far away magnolia's
sweet embrace

If your love
were my
last dying breath

how sweet

pursed lips

ascend

Tomas

oops........

2005-08-07T08:37:00.000-07:00

Patterns in the Evening Sky

Like any good human
i abide
for the good of the many
i abide

well i toss in those lil’ moments
of personal satisfaction

yet no one sees
or hears
or smells
or is hurt by my hand

never
take a hit
at a major intersection

... these are words
to live by

Tomas

... stylin' in my new birthday hat from Karla

2005-07-31T22:01:00.000-07:00

You say it's your birthday
(na-na-na-na-nant-na)

It's my birthday too--yeah
(na-na-na-na-nant-na)

They say it's your birthday
(na-na-na-na-nant-na)

We're gonna have a good time.........

(Beatles, 'White Album'..... sort of)

let the music set you free...... (Carlos Santana)

2005-07-29T18:58:00.000-07:00

Sweet Music

something inside me shouts danger
i ignore it
the time is wrong
and i know
my mistakes
every one

i know
there is more to it
than circumstance
there is more there
than any control

just let sweet music take me
lead me to the edge
and i will leap

the beauty is in the fall you see
suspended in the truth
that the bottom will come
soon enough

on its own

Tomas

....favorite quotes by famous poets (part B)

2005-07-26T12:23:00.000-07:00

if yr not sure what this post is about..... scroll down to 7-15-05

...but as God said,
crossing his legs,
I see where I have made plenty of poets...
but not so very much poetry...

Charles Bukowski

... in honor of a very Old Soul (who taught me well)

2005-07-19T18:55:00.000-07:00

Reckless Abandon and me

Pleasing My Friend Reckless

i often wonder

why he barks

at nothing i can see

or hear

or sense

out there

in total black

"what is it boy ?"

i whisper (for effect)

patting his head

"what is it ?"

he barks again

a deep throated war cry

i am not so sure as to whether

it is his imagination

or my lack of...

hmmmm...

there was a time i would

yell at him

"Reckless, shut up !"

concerned about the neighbors

but he only barks

when there's somethin'

to bark at

or he perceives something

out there

an' just 'cause i can't

sense it

doesn't mean

it's not

an' besides that's his job

we all got

our jobs

to do

so since i figured this all out

i encourage him

i pat him on the head

scratch behind his ears

an' say

"good boy Reckless

ya' ol' crazy dog

good boy

you scared 'em alright"

he gives a final

half woof

half snort

and lies

back down

proud

content

Tomas

....favorite quotes by famous poets (part 1)

2005-07-15T14:14:00.000-07:00

photography by Emma Irvin

ok..... here's the challenge.... give me one of yr fav poetry quotes...... one of those, damn i wish i'd written that, kinda quotes................ this is my first one......

... i am the answer to man's every question

his aim

and destination

deary me,

i'd rather be a poet

and live on guile

and beer

Dylan Thomas

ok....... back to poetry

2005-07-13T07:32:00.000-07:00

The Question

"What are you thinking?"
i HATE that
question
usually asked
by the woman
in my heart
usually catching me
off guard

thinking (?)
thinking (?)
was i thinking (?)

i realize
i probably was
shunted by a vacant stare
and negligible utterances...

so then i HAVE to
think
what was i thinking (?)

a safe reply
is always
"i was thinking of you"
a usual reply is
"nothing really"
an honest reply
would be
whateverthehell i was thinking
(if i could come up with it)
a true reply
would be
"infinity"
for that is where
most poets
travel
when you see that
glaze
in their eye
a place where there are
no subpoenas granted

Tomas

back online..........

2005-07-12T19:52:00.000-07:00

yeah, i'm back.... just very busy and too tired tonight to really post...... but all is well.... we ended up w/ a lot of debris (downed limbs) in Karla's yard... and one tree down..... but no real damage and we're fine.........

Dennis.......

2005-07-10T07:40:00.000-07:00

quick post before the shit hits the fan...... we dodged another bullet.... well discounting enough wind to knock down a tree or 2 on the house..... tornadoes forthcoming..... flooding.... power outages.... and lightning...... (which is why this is a quick post.... shutting down computer soon)..... looks like it's headed west of us.... but you never know until it makes landfall... Dennis is a Cat4 right now.... w/a real mean streak... just a few hours from the hit....

but mostly we are safe in Alabama....... and i am with the love of my life.... so if you don't hear from me next week, well it's been fun........

Tomas

here we go again.......

2005-07-07T19:47:00.000-07:00

yeah....... here we go again.... first hurricane of the season, Dennis.... (and it's only July) Cat2 right now and it's not even in the Gulf yet.... they're predicting Cat3 when it hits...... headed pretty much for us.... we dodged 5 of the suckers last year...... some close calls....... Panama City, FL...... hits on either side of us....... so this blog may go temporarily tits-up for a few days anyway come Sunday..... depends on if i try to ride it out or head north to be w/my wife.... which is probably the best idea..... i did that when ivan came thru last season..... but even 80 miles inland we got hit... not as severe.... still went thru power outages..... but not like down here... and at least we kept the beer cold..............................

(wanna see something awesome.... check out the link)

www.intellicast.com then click on hurricanes... then ir loop

Mean Streak

The wind's a' blowin' hard outside
the wind's a' rattlin' my windows
knockin' on my door
wants in
to shake my bones

but i don't answer
i paid for this shelter
with my soul

i go to the window
pissed off the wind starts
pushin' the trees around
shootin' bullets at their feet
shoutin' "DANCE MOTHERFUCKERS"
an' boy do they dance (!)

Tomas

missing my utsukushii Lady

2005-07-06T19:06:00.000-07:00

True Love.... the warrior's Intent

and would you doubt
if when you came to visit
that i pull out my rifle
and lean it against the chair
two plus arm's lengths away...........
sit back
my left hand
gripping my pistola

would you doubt
(combined with the strange noises outside tonight)
that
no one
comes through my door
without permission (?)

Tomas

..... and pride is not a good thing anyway

2005-07-04T08:47:00.000-07:00

.... Please know, that altho i have dissed the present administration.... and the 51% of idiots that backed it........ that i do LOVE this country...... i love the freedoms (we won't discuss the patriot act today)..... i love the freedoms granted to me by the luck of the proverbial reincarnation pool to have landed in
this place
this time

it's been a busy weekend w/work and all and i didn't really take time to write a poem for the 4th..... so i perused my archives.... what i have chosen to post is representative of my spiritual beliefs, my freedom, my love of the natural wide open spaces of America.... i have been to almost evry part of this country in my life and evry state evry city evry back road has its very own unique beauty....

in a discussion with a poet friend of mine once, Gregory Greyhawk, a Native American Indian from the Huron Tribe of Canada..... about this country and the rights, lefts and wrongs..... he asked me... "where were you born?"....
my reply.... "U.S."
"... then you are a Native American"

may all the gods bless America..........

Spring Forward, Fall Behind

Hiking from camp alone
i find a spot
to sit and meditate
dropping tobacco to the 4 winds
contemplating my walk
and the beauty in
the only sound i heard
the crunch of my footsteps
on this utah canyon floor
and the fact
that it took millions of years
to create this
and just a day's drive
for me to get here
makes me question my journey
all the other rewards
invisible along the way
cached beyond our windshield

Climbing high
above the canyon wall
again i sit
and smoke tobacco
i am on a huge boulder
30 feet in width
15 feet across
it rests itself
on one thin hold
to the side of this cliff
i know
that one day
it will lose its grip
and plummet
to the canyon floor
a feeling surges through me
that perhaps this is the day
(provoked by 140 lbs. added weight)
and though i know it is my imagination
i swear i feel it shift beneath
as a cool breeze captures me
on its wing
staying my fall

Tomas

... for all those 4th of July weekend partiers out there, a reminder..... be cool

2005-07-02T12:43:00.000-07:00

Weedin' Out

I wanna be a state trooper
so's i can wear
one a them cool hats
an' those dark shades
oh yeah
an' carry a pistola

I wanna be a state trooper
so's i can drive
any speed my heart desires
a road warrior incumbent
chagrin
ev'rybody else
flexin' their foot
on the brake
whenever i'm around

I wanna be a state trooper
so's i can be the RIGHT hand of god
the law, in law and order
the BIG, in big brother
so's i can make the world a better place
all-by-my-self

I wanna set up road blocks......
check points....
speed traps......
shoot out tires......
i wanna be ev'ry beer guzzler's nightmare

I wanna be a state trooper
stylin' in that cool hat
findin' perfection
in my bright and shiny
self

Tomas

...... 3 cheers for Canada

2005-06-29T16:24:00.000-07:00

wooooooooohooooooooo

not only can you smoke pot.......
but if you're a lesbian who smokes pot......
you can now smoke it with yr marriage partner

(ya watchin' dubya?)

Tomas

in honor of dubya.... our latest war monger commander in chief (and the rhetoric from an asshole that has never SEEN war...)

2005-06-29T15:20:00.000-07:00

i'm a vietnam era veteran....... i dug this poem out of my poetry archives..... written sometime in the late 70's... unfortunately it seems that 51% of this fucking country either has no memory or no concept of our history...... for the 2nd time in my life......... i am not PROUD to be an American...

Seemingly Like Vietnam

i love to
pull weeds
in my garden
it's like therapy
to me

it's like
yeah
die sucker (!)
get outa my life
and get your vines
off my tomatoes

i love to
pull weeds
in my garden
i toss them hard
and watch
the sun
suck life
right out of them

Tomas

It........ the art

2005-06-27T04:48:00.000-07:00

It...... The Art

A friend of mine had some paintings hanging on a brick wall of this dive coffee house in Denver. Another friend, a poet, sat at the table with us across from the wall (unaware the artist was present); claiming, "Ya' know, this stuff makes me want to run out into the street and scream!"

My friend, the artist, sat smiling. He told me later, "Hey, at least it stirred some kind of emotion."

meaning

'it did what it was supposed to do'

the art

the catalyst

the poetry

the feeling

the failing

the touch

of one stroke

of a brush

to the forehead....

Tomas

......... painting by Jim Davis

.... echos

2005-06-25T19:37:00.000-07:00

On Listening To The Breeze

Somewhere there’s an echo
of thunderous canyon roll
of children laughing in the distance
of 2 foot dancing
and rolling tires down a highway

Somewhere there’s an echo
of knife blades piercing skin
of tree limbs crashing
a single whispered sh-h-h-h-h-h
(index finger held to lips)

Somewhere there’s an echo
of a pulse that quickens
of shot glasses slamming down hard on the bar
and heads shaking side to side
mosquito buzz in your ear
of beer bottles smashing on pavement
of a dog that howls weary
a cockroach scurrying across the linoleum
of campfire crackle
and rain drops on the roof
plam plam plam ditty plam plam ditty

Somewhere there’s an echo that
you only hear in your sleep

Somewhere there’s an echo
of what might have been

Somewhere there’s an echo
of total silence

Somewhere
(if not only in this pen)
of all earthly sounds
there is an echo………

Tomas

2005-06-24T19:55:00.000-07:00

our totem wedding rings....... i love you Karla

.... on the lighter side from my last post

2005-06-23T18:33:00.000-07:00

Special Effects
(On A Sunday Afternoon)

Tree shadows
on freshly cut lawn
gentle breeze
moving mosaic
of bright green
dark green
Set in time to
Larry Carlton guitar
in the background
Doobie and a beer

George Lucas
eat your heart out

Tomas

... this was a tough one

2005-06-22T19:29:00.000-07:00

Surrogates

The Sun
disappeared from my life
oh
i've even lost count of the years
he swears
i betrayed him
not true.......
i wanted to see him
i wrote him.........
tried to explain
in terms so very a young Sun
could understand
declared
by my death covenant
by my fire walks
i do love him

Now the darkness
the lack of light
at least for me
is still comforted on occasion
by the reflection
of every shining moon

Tomas

on trying to write a love poem.........

2005-06-21T18:48:00.000-07:00

Still………

Empty lines
open minded
anticipating
more than
the X’d out
hook shot into the trash can
abandoned attempts
to describe
as simply
and succinct

striving to find a way
to say
I love you
that you have not heard before

Tomas

2005-06-19T06:43:00.000-07:00

space alien jellyfish1.... art by Tomas and Jagermeister...... photography by Jim Davis

2005-06-19T06:40:00.000-07:00

space alien jellyfish2..... art by Tomas and Jagermeister (paid for by loss of apartment deposit refund)..... photography by Jim Davis

Owl is one of my totems......

2005-06-17T22:05:00.001-07:00

Stealth

Trudy
a Native American friend of mine
gave me an owl's feather
for my hat

"it's illegal" she said
" 'cept for injuns
tell 'em it's a turkey feather
they won't know the difference"

she'd asked me
if i wanted
an owl's feather
or a hawk's
i requested owl
but i didn't know why

three days later
she handed it to me
braided in leather
and red and blue beads

she told me to feel it
and then asked if i knew why
an owl's feathers were so soft
"a hawk's feathers are stiff and bristly"
she said
"for speed"

"and the owl (?)"
"the owl's feathers are soft
so it can fly silent
at night"

Driving home loaded
from the local bar that evening
i suddenly understood
my choice

Tomas

How once i got paid to write.... and why i'm not anymore

2005-06-17T19:17:00.000-07:00

Colorado: 198s0mething........

Trying to introduce (with some sort of affluence) this section of Artarmada; I pour the last shot of Jager from the bottle and with my music to divert me, all I can think of is blow Mr. Sax Man, blow.
Perhaps in future issues I may elaborate as to how D. I. came into being, including my credentials (and discounting nepotism as a viable elaboration). For now, suffice it to say that the only two places to make money at art in this country are N.Y./L.A. And if that is how you judge success, then you have not an inkling of what
art
is.
Art resides in every town; resides in every one, in every thing. The lucky few find an outlet for their art. Mine is poetry. I wish I knew who said it, but I heard a quote on N.P.R. one evening;
'There's nothing hard about writing. You just sit down to a typewriter, open a vein, and bleed to death.'

Well folks, the blood on this page comes from Denver, Colorado.

Blow Mr. Sax Man, blow !

email @ 3 a.m.

2005-06-12T16:44:00.000-07:00

(intro)......
so my new wife and i live like 80 miles apart.... long story, but here's the short version.... we've been a couple for over 8 years, and married just the first of this year.... due to different job situations, we have been seeing each other only on week-ends and the occasional extra time off from the daily drudge for 2 + years now..... either i trek up to Alabama.... or Karla comes down to Florida..... i have kidded w/friends that we have the perfect marriage..... ie. we live in 2 different states..... but this little joke sometimes sticks in the back of my throat..... due to recent circumstances, we have been out of physical contact for more than our usual missed week-end.....
so anyhoo.... one of my few forms of home entertainment (i have refused to own a tv for over 15 years now because i am an addict when i sit in front of one) is playing the card game hearts online..... hey at least it's interactive !!!

this entry is supposed to show that the spontaneity of life itself can be poetry..... thus i give you...

email @ 3 a.m.

wooooohooooooo... another one of those outanowhere fun games of hearts........ there were only 2 of us really talking..... player 3 and i.... we both got nuked early on..... held in there and both made some good plays..... almost like we teamed up on the 2 low scores..... high 5'ing each other on the sneaky moves we made..... (sometimes hitting the other because we had to out of survival) then last hand of the game..... all of us above 90 w/me at the lowest score....(reminder.... 100 ends the game, and low score wins).... and player 3 ran the board and won the game.... i was trying to stop him/her but still hoping 3 pulled off the coups........ i know this is stupid, but it was like this connection with a total stranger...... yeah it's just a dumb game... but, male/female/black/white/straight/gay........ unknown.... it was just fun...... something over all these chips and wires connected 2 people for a brief moment in time..... something about the concept that this annonymous connection took place maybe from a few blocks down the road or 10,000 miles away just, what were Emma's words(?).... "rox my sox off".......

ok, so you married a weird person........ ;-p

lol

these are the simple moments i want to share with you..... not in an email.... i want to wake you up @ 3 a.m. because i am off that day and you have to work and went on to bed while i played hearts online and had this connection feeling and wanted to share it with you and fuck you having to work and i would wake you up to tell you and we would make passionate love and i would fall asleep naked, holding you as this smile comes to me and i transcend

Tomas

2005-05-31T19:42:00.000-07:00

This Is Untitled… and probably deserves to be….
(i’ll apologize for this poem in advance)

I’m having my period
she says

that sucks
he replies

i know
she says

No
you don’t understand
he sighs
i’m having an exclamation point………

Tomas

2005-05-23T10:39:00.000-07:00

Sorcerer Tomas, by Jim Davis

2005-05-23T10:17:00.000-07:00

Thinking of Kerouac

the v-8 rumbles
down the street
on a comeback trail
gas prices higher than ever
an’ ev’ry cylinder
speaks to me

boom budda budda
boom budda budda
boom budda budda

as it idles past
the truth
i call
my living room window
it fades
a long distant symphony
fades
in the rambling future mix
beyond this avenue
fades
until i hear one final throttle
from the stop sign
at the end of the block

then turns right
i imagine
toward places
i have never been

2005-05-23T10:12:00.000-07:00

Outlaw Poem

I. Speedin down the road
gotta' beer between my legs
got my rifle next to me
both of us
loaded

II. Cigarette smoke
rises from the ashtray
at the point
it starts to swirl
is when
i'll make
my move

III. Cold steel blue
wood grain smooth and warm
ponderous
the shoulder kick
thunder
click - ratchet

to sight down the barrel
amazed
at how steady i can be
when intent
combines
with winchester

realizing
(of course)
this ain't no stand-off
and the gods
are all
well armed

Tomas

2005-05-23T09:42:00.000-07:00

Tomas